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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?